Thursday, March 30, 2017

Starving Is Not The Way To Losing Weight

So I've been researching and found out that many bipolar patients who go on a diet develop an eating disorder. At first I was shocked and wondered why? After I began to think about it I realized I understand it more and more. 

You see, Ive got a very addictive personality. I become OCD about things I feel passionate about and have a need to dive in head first. I put everything I have into my new found passion and this would include my diet. Since I've been on this weight loss journey I have been limiting myself to very little food. When I say limit I mean around 500 calories a day. 

Now with that said, I have found this to be an extremely bad way to go about this. It's been five weeks and I have just started to feel the bad affects on my body. For the first time today I feel very weak and in a way depressed. When I was working out this morning I felt my strength was weaker than usual and I felt very sluggish all day. 

Now some people will say it's nothing and other will say eat more. I'm one that will say it's probably nothing. I have a goal and I want to meet that goal so I need to eat a little more so I can exercise like I want to. I will not give up on this journey and I want to lose the weight and prove to myself I can do it. 

So I just wanted to share this info with anyone who has decided to go on a crash diet and drop a few pounds. If you are starving yourself expect to lose strength and energy soon because its coming.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Healthier Lifestyle Means Healthier You

I have been feeling a lot better lately. I can honestly say that since I've been working out and eating healthier my mood has improved. The water drinking and fruit and vegetables are improving my health not only physically but mentally as well. Maybe my mom was on to something when she said "David eat your vegetables."

The schedule or diet I've been doing is simple and easy. I eat whatever I want except snack cakes or other sugary substances. I cook everything I eat now, so no corndogs or frozen pizzas and other things like that. I drink only water and lots of it. I workout four to five times a week. Now I don't kill myself by lifting huge amounts I just do 4 or 5 reps of 10 at 100 pounds and use the stair stepper for about 5 minutes each workout. I also walk 2 to 5 miles a few times a week depending on how much I walk at work.

In the past month these simple changes have helped me lose 11 pounds and I feel amazingly different and proud of myself. My healthier lifestyle has given me way more energy and boosted my metabolism. I sleep better and of course wake up easier.

I can't say it has cured my bipolar disorder but I do think it has given me more to focus on and helped with that idle mind thing. A combination of blogging, youtubing, and working out has totally occupied my idle time while I'm not working. Being more active is never a bad thing so I would recommend giving a healthier active lifestyle a chance. I think within a month you will feel way better and not regret it.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

"Once Upon A Time" In My Brain

So tonight I was watching that show "Once Upon A Time" and the character Rumplestiltskin made a statement that made me think, he said "Once you give into the darkness it only brings loneliness." Wow, how true is that. When I feel sad and know it is leading into a depression I try to fight it but usually end up losing. After I have fought so long and hard I feel like i have given up and find myself in a darkened depressed state of being.

I know I have described my depression before and know it can be a graphic tale to tell but I find that sharing this with others helps me to fight harder the next time it happens. Trapped inside my own mind you would think I would find my soul. I search down the cobwebbed corridors of my own body but find no one to comfort me. Inside trapped like a prisoner of my own creation locked away in solitary confinement for crimes I never committed. I am alone and lost for the duration of this depressed state of being. Have I given in to the darkness? Is this the crime I have committed to suffer this punishment?

Giving into the darkness is not an option for a bipolar sufferer to choose. This is forced upon us well and true against our own will. I know from experience that if I could throw this awful illness away I would, and at times I thought that I had, but like a boomerang it comes back every time.

Understanding that the darkness is a very lonely place, I had to feel a little sorrow for our little imp Rumple. The one true difference between us and him is that he chose to embrace the darkness and I am only forced to visit from time to time. So in a way my journey is long and full of suffering, but I can always look back at manic and depressed episodes I have lived and say truly "Once Upon A Time."

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Studies Say Water Helps Brain Function

I have embarked on a weight loss journey now and have found that it is difficult to do while on the meds I am currently taking. When I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago I talked to him about my weight and we discussed how it would be more suitable for me to do this without the help of medicine. I totally agree with this and have been working really hard on controlling my appetite. I have found that I can do this with the help of water.

I drink nothing but water right now and eat at the most twice a day. I may have a small sausage biscuit or two pieces of toast with butter and jelly for breakfast and a regular meal for dinner around four o'clock. The rest of the day and evening is nothing but water. Yes this was hard at first but it has helped me to loose seven pounds in two weeks. I think thats pretty good myself.

Ok before anyone says I'm not eating enough I am using an app called "LoseIt!" and they have me on a 2000 calorie a day diet and warn me if I don't eat enough. One time did it tell me to eat more and I did. My minimum intake is to be 1500 calories and I either come very close or reach it daily.

Another thing I am doing now is exercising everyday or every other day. I began a lifting schedule and am using a stair stepper and walking regularly. The app keeps complete track of calories I take in and burn during my daily activities.

By doing all of these things on a regular basis I have went from 259lbs to 252lbs in two weeks. I can't argue with those results. By drinking only water and giving up my sweet tea habit I have found that I feel fuller longer and sleep better. By exercising more I feel more energy and have built up more strength and have added more reps to my lifting already.

Almost four years ago I gave up smoking by making the switch to vaping and now I feel it was time to make another life change. I have decided to extend my life as long as I can and adopt a healthier eating habit and workout habit.

Studies have suggested that drinking water improves not only your kidney function but also reduces the risk of cancer, diabetes, and improves brain function, eye sight, and skin tone. This simple task is a free life change that anyone can incorporate in daily living. I for one am glad to share this information with anyone who chooses to read this article and make a small change to improve your health.

Being a mental health blog, the benefits of water and brain function I have read about should be enough for any of my readers to at least try this experiment. Can I say I feel better by doing this? I would have to say yes. But don't take my word on it, look it up. 

Monday, February 27, 2017

Feeling Good as of Right Now

Hello my readers!!! Stress is down right now and I think I owe a lot of that to my writing and YouTube channel. It really helps to have a creative outlet to express yourself and release some of those emotions. Having a hobby that consumes a lot of my time and focussing on something positive is extremely wonderful. 

Doing this blog and opening up about my mental health has been a great experience. Of course I've gotten some hate from people online but every social type of site has trolls and haters. Just like the Taylor Swift song says haters gonna hate. In all honesty I've gotten more support from a lot of good people than any hate. 

On the bipolar side of things I did go to the doctor and explained how I was feeling lately and about my small hypomania episode and was told if it only happened once let it go. So, therefore no med adjustments and no med changes and I feel that is good news. 

Everyday right now I'm going to bed feeling good and waking up feeling good. I actually have more to look forward to in my day. I am excited to create a new video each day and a new blog each week. What was once filled with despair and gloom is now filled with excitement and motivation. I actually enjoy life right now. I feel good about what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. I feel creative in all I do and feel like I am encouraging others that life can be better. 

So in closing I will say trolls and haters are everywhere but I have found more goo in my online presence than bad. Helping and encouraging people is good no matter how you do it.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Not Enough Time For Everything

So it's been a week since my last post here and I do apologize for that. I feel overwhelmed at times trying to work, write, be a dad and husband, and run a YouTube channel. I mean it a real feat to get it all accomplished. One thing I will never do is give up.

Trying to prioritize things in my life can be difficult. You see having bipolar is never easy and having large emotional outbursts is just one of the symptoms. I tend to try to hide those emotions for as long as possible. Keeping things bottled up for so long keeps me feeling emotionally bloated. It's like I have no more room to put things. This gets in the way of trying to prioritize life and feelings that go along with it.

The best way I can describe this is kind of silly. I feel like Tinker Bell from Peter Pan. I know how silly right? But think about it. A line in the film said she was so small she could only hold one emotion at a time, so when I'm doing work that's all I can focus on, same for anything else. When I'm doing YouTube that's literally all I focus on, when I write I give it my all. I mean it's 11:35pm right now and I just1 uploaded a video, my family is asleep and I'm writing this article.

I've given advice on planning things out and prioritizing life when it comes to mentally ill people and I think I could try harder myself to take that advice. I tend to get to involved in my projects and have way to big of a heart to let others down. I enjoy writing this blog and making videos for all my followers to read and watch. I love having a community to come to and interact with others. I can't say enough about how much my family means to me, I just need to focus on making more time for my hobbies and job.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Fog On The Water

Everyday is different in the world of mental illness. I once thought that I knew when an episode was going to come on but I was in fact wrong. The other day I was just sitting on my couch watching a little television before work and went downhill. I'm not sure what happened but I became overwhelmed with feelings of worthlessness and self pity. It became apparent that I was having an episode but in my mind I was justified in my feelings.

Feelings during a mental "breakdown" as some call it can be very persuasive to the host. These emotions no matter how ridiculous they my be to others are very real and convincing to the one having them. In time these feelings will pass and the clouded mind will clear enough for the individual to realize that things aren't quite as bad as they seemed before, but this can also lead to another episode of self pity and serious embarrassment.

I for one have had multiple episodes of hypomania and depression where I truly felt like my world was changing and not for the better. It was as if others had turned their backs on me or had betrayed me in some way that hurt me deeply. I felt like I was a victim of bullying and backstabbing. Of course when I calmed down and regained my right mind things weren't that bad but at the time it seemed real.

It's best describe as fog on a pond or lake, when the fog sets in you can't really see what is going on under it, but when it lifts the water is clear and fresh. An episode of bipolar works the same way, you begin to have delusional thoughts or feelings of extreme self worth or serious depression but when it's over things begin to get more clear.